SweetSunnySide's profileSweetSunnySidePhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
|
11/6/2008 Finally i can move on....!!The blog i wrote below i wrote for a purpose, at the time, (Thank you Gary for the reply).. i had no idea if what i had done that day was the 'right thing to do' even though i knew it could/may have concequences for me has a mum, has well as the other person involved. I no longer have to hide any of it anymore.
THE STORY BEHIND THE REASON-
Last year i met a guy online, this guy is in the military, we both been chatting for months off and on, mostly weekends till early hrs in the morning before we actually arranged to meet each other earlyier on this year.
We both just clicked from that first evening together, txt each other nearly 24/7 after that, if not, chatting online and txting each other, him at work and txting, and meeting most weekends when he wasn't at work or with 'family'. What i didn't see coming was 3 girls getting attatched to this guy, even to the point that lastnight (Bonfire night) the older one asked when he was coming back. See that guy was the first guy i let get close enough to the girls to allow that attatchment to happen, maybe i was at fault for doing that??,... it felt right at the time!
WHAT HAPPENED-?
Particular weekend this guy comes over after work has was the norm , weekend was already sorted, (has most of you know the girls have no choice but to go everywhere with me, for those who don't, it's a family problem) , so we both agreed to go with the girls to Woodlands theme park on the Saturday. Two of my friends was there (Jane and her partner graham) with their kids and some other friends, unbeknown to me that they was going to be there at all.
Been at Woodlands for a bit when little one decides she wanted to go into the ball pool, only she had to have an adult with her, way too small, so the military guy says he would take her, leaving me to catch up with goss with friends. 15-25mins later approx, jane is getting more and more worried over where the military guy has gone with little one. ....Me?, i trusted him with the girls, and if completely honest trusted him more than i have done with any guy previous,so wasnt so worried, End of that was Jane and Graham both went into the play area mainly to go look for the military guy without making it too obvious.
40-50mins approx had gone by when little one came running over big smile on her face asking if she can go in again, the military guy comes from opposite direction 10mins later, he had been the toilet, fair nuff that eh.
SUNDAY-
I don't know what the hell was up with me that morning, think i sat wondering if i was giving a guy maybe too much trust with what had happened the previous day, maybe the why he only told me the night before that he had to leave earlier than usual (had a hospital appointment on the monday morning),.. i don't know, i do know that i suddenly realized that 3 girls who was once only wanting their mum, suddenly wanted this military guy, 'mum' had become surplus to most requirements in those few months of meeting the guy, EVERYTHING revolved around this guy in their minds right down to every txt message i got was him, it had to be, even when it wasn't it was him in their minds, pictures the girls drew wasn't for mum anymore, they was stuck on the door for next weekend for the military guy! For him to take back with him.
I don't think ANY mum out there wants to ever think that a guy they are with could hurt their children, yes, we are all aware it happens, but to other people right??
So Sunday morning, i got out of bed went downstairs leaving the military guy in bed, did the girls brekkie, made brew as usual, only instead of getting back in bed i went in the frontroom, have me smoke, brew, puts the tunes on on the Tv, goes off to the toilet. Has i cross the landing i looked in my bedroom to see the girls in the bed with this military guy INNOCENTLY reading them all a story,....i stopped, looked at him, made sure BOTH his hands where on that book!!! ....and i walked away.
The military guy left early hrs of monday morning instead of 3p.m on the sunday, he didn't come back after that weekend.
6 WEEKS OF A 'TXT RELATIONSHIP' EVENTS AFTERWARDS-
* Monday morning few hrs after he had left he didn't bother to txt to let me know how he got on at hosp with his hand- txt straight back when i txt him to ask, so couldn't of been busy eh?
* Weekend after- He crashes his motor. (weekend before easter) Again doesn't bother to txt me till hrs and hrs later, can understand that, to much to sort in insurance ect way.
* Has problems with getting a hire car to get him to work,....then doesn't,
* Loses his bank card, gets another sent to him, in less than a week??
* Txting each other took a back seat, has did chatting online, so he could sort his stuff out, including finding time to party with his mates when so stressed with everything, and calling me in early hrs to let me know. All was cool with me though, although by this time a fair few mates took the opposite opinion of which i ignored.
* Insurance pays up and he gets a new motor, (all in a month just over and over easter too?), but cannot come over has he got to work, By this time txt messages were none excistant nearly, unless i txt him, occasionally he txt me, called me twice in all that time. (i'm sat wondering on the why's, but too wrapped up in the military guy to see the why)
My older one fell on a toy soon after all that above, hurt herself where a girl really don't need to, so had to take her the hospital, text the military guy to tell him, .....But what if she mentioned about being in the bed with the military guy?, how do i explain why i did not report it at the time?
I HAD TO peeve the military guy off enough to send me an 'it's over txt', so on the Thursday before the Social worker was coming out on the Monday that is just what i did, and in doing that i got the txt i needed that would be the proof for social that i'm no longer with the military guy if any of the girls did mention him being in the bed with them.
The next morning telling the girls that everything with the military guy was over was worst thing i had to do, it left 3 girls in total bits!, Thankfully little bro and his g/friend was here, cause i wasn't into explaining the why's and for a mum to be blamed by her own children and told to 'leave me alone! go away! it's all your fault! If you hadn't been arguing with him in txts then he would still be here!' when they all had the measels at same time few days later, they didn't want me, or my mum near them they wanted the military guy'....well that hurts more than the splitting up already had!!!
And when the girls told my mum about being in the bed with the military guy over easter, asking my own mum NOT to report it to anyone because of the concequences that may be involved for me as a mum, and him because he is in the military, Yes i know it was wrong to do that, it was wrong at the time!,
3 WEEKS AGO, MONTHS AFTER SPLITTING UP WITH MILITARY GUY-
Jane invites us around hers for a brew and catch up, not seen her since easter just after, the miliary guy is brought up by name, and i tell her we split months ago, all was left at that, did wonder why the time at Woodlands she brought up, but no harm done.
Got home pretty late on from Jane's doing the girls something to eat when middle one comes out of the blue with ''remember that time when we was in the bed with ******,and he was reading us that story, did you know that he had no boxers on mummy'....Jesus i just stood and looked at her, the other two girls agreed with her, OMFG had i trusted one guy 5 mins too far with the girls??... Was what went through my mind on that sunday morning the right way to thik ??? All of a sudden the past i thought was left there, i realized i now had no choice but to report, even though all the girls changed it to what i saw with my own eyes the following morning, why??.... what if the girls said that same thing to you, what would you do with it?, but mainly because i did not know 100% in my own mind if he did have boxers on or not, i had not got back in the bed that last morning he was here!
So for the past 3 weeks i have had the worry of knowing that what i had to report could/may have concequences for the military guy and me, in the way of protection meetings for failing to protect and supervise the girls, and the girls going on a at risk register, or even worse the girls who are all i have, being taken away from me for me trusting a guy with them and something that i saw has innocent, one guys 5mins mistake, of him just not thinking, was has Diane from child protection team put it his ''inapproprate behaviour'' .
Over the past 3 weeks alot of things that for months and months was left in pieces in my mind , just couldn't fit them together, why had he not come back? why did txt messages go downhill overnight? why did a relationship that was once good, in less than 24hrs went to none excistant apart from the odd txts, it ALL fits together today....
Diane went with a Social worker yesterday to the girls school, spoke with the two older girls, THANKFULLY the girls disclosed nothing in a indecent way done too them, and the file will be closed to do with Social services..... The military guy has no idea the world of mess he left behind that morning he walked out of my front door and never came back!
At least now i can FINALLY move on has the past is now out in the open and been sorted out, those pieces that wouldn't fit together even if i applyed glue to them,today fit together, he knew he was in the wrong has much as i did for not reporting what i saw at the time it happened!!... it doesn't matter who the girls say it to now, everyone knows.
|
|
|
